apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
