Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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