My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
