Me too!
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
