Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he was CRYING into my vagina
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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