He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
