Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she told me i tasted like america
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
