the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
