her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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