I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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