I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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