i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
