k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
