Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
