I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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