i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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