Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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