I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Randomize
