dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
