It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
