I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My brain says no but my pants say off.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
