problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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