Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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