woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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