Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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