Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
