Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She needs sedatives and a leash
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
