his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
porn star boner night. come get it.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
