She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
