I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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