READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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