so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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