Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
