are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
