Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
