She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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