that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
