I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
