she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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