who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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