That's intense
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
