I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
