Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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