Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
We smell like vodka and hangover
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
