I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
