Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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