i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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