Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
