have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
