We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
