I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
