I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I have tasted many bathrooms
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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