cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
