You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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