We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
