it wasn't lemon gatorade
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize