she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize