non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
