Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I will pee on everything he values.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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