Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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