No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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