I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
