btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
