So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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