I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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