Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
