: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
