I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
